She is making me post-sex grilled cheese at 2 am wearing only shorts and cowboy boots. I am so in love
I fucked the bump it out of her hair. just had to let everyone know.
Where'd you guys get the alcohol from?
Oh. Some homeless guy we picked up from I-70. He bought us $400 worth of alcohol in exchange for a shower.
...... wtf.
I feel like every picture I upload of him on facebook where you can see his purity ring, I should make the caption "something in this picture does not belong"
Its the anniversary of our epic NBA All-star game weekend. The night the two of us cashed a 30-pack while watching the dunk contest
Last time we had a party like that I woke up naked on the pool table with a chalk outline around me and a empty bottle of jager duct taped to my hand.
Yea. I'm excited about this party too
Omg, those nutella cakes are heavenly, like licking the nipples of a muscular black Jesus.
seriously, i never want to drink Robitussin again. her face was melting as i tried to convince her i wasnt high and i probably would have fucked ray. his parents thought i was a sweet charming lesbian.
This is why you are not allowed out in public.
The sad part is I didn't even want to get laid. I just wanted the emotional connection, but my vagina was screaming "TOUCH ME. TOUCH ME RIGHT NOW BECAUSE MY DADDY ISSUES ARE MUCH DEEPER THAN MY EMOTIONAL NEEDS!" Vodka has a way of getting me out of my emotions and gets me fucked every time.
I hooked up with a guy dressed up as morning wood. Needless to say he lived up to his costume.
We were having a serious discussion about Blue's Clues and I just kept thinking, 'you've seen me naked'.
Some guy I'd never met and didn't invite threw the punch bowl at the wall and set the plastic skeleton on fire. I don't think we'll be getting the full deposit back
Wow you are like a taller more attractive sex Yoda.
It feels like heartburn in my lungs. I'll buy 2 pounds.
so you might not believe this but he made a powerpoint. and gave you a 3.5/10.
Randomize