belinda wants 2 know wr u got ur butt pads
i dont wear butt pads that thang is au naturel
Yeah...right...LMAO
So do you want to come over? ;)
Never again opening up the Pandora's box of crazy that is your vagina. Sorry.
I know I'm really high but I swear I just saw him beating off to his fantasy football roster.
I'm one shot of soco 100 away from fucking a mailbox
Is moral bankruptcy something you need to file for?
Dude, I had to masturbate just to stay warm. Please pay the gas bill?
You just handed me your ATM card and wrote your PIN number on a dollar bill and said "for bail money."
We were on the ground in Tampa for 55 hours and we drank for 30 of them.
We won Spring Training 2013.
We christened the whole apartment and fucked on the balcony. It was amazing. I'm 100% sure downtown heard me climax. Now we can unpack.
I walked into the living room this morning and he was there with 3 shots in a row. He said it was "tea time."
was his pinky out?
So... How much of our rent is drug money?
THEYRE FUCKING GOLD
Are you talking about the color of my tits or the quality of my nudes cause both are
after stripping the bed and soaking it with the "pet spot remover" I have, I decided in the best interest of my mattress and our drunk friends bladders, i should invest in rubber sheets.
Woke up snuggling with a large wooden rhino that I stole last night...obviously, we had fun.
Just shaved my balls on a moving train. By far the most dangerous stunt I've ever pulled
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