i just funneled a beer through a mask n snorkel.. can you check that off my bucket list..
I just wiped my face with a slice of bread. Lowest point of the night.
if i actually bought condoms for every time i had sex, i could single handedly fix the economy
I've never seen a kid turn down a sure thing for a possible handy by a freshmen. You need to re-evaluate.
Yeah dude I should be out of the ER in about an hr. They gave me vallium. Go tell the captain its time to set sail.
Watching her eat just hurts me
Fighting the urge to throw up all over my little brothers jr high basketball bench. Welcome home aaron
If I'm going to risk life and limb to wear a Wings jersey to the Garden next week, the least they can do is win.
And the most would be ending up in bed with one of them.
Your brother's naked in the courtyard again. Just a head's up.
His Australian accent during sex made me think I was in an Outback Steakhouse commercial
You would be proud of me, I did not take a dab at work today.
I get so sad when I watch him slowly destroy his life with whiskey and cocaine. Then he bites my neck and I just want to fuck him. I can't help it.
Can you send me the picture of me licking the cows udders?
So I just accidentally joined a bar crawl and got a free shotski of Jameson. I love life.
Man I just realized that my only life problem right now is that I have to convince myself not to fuck a 19-y-o
Randomize
