I took an adderall but just ended up meticulously arranging my farmville for hours
He compared my vagina to the first time he tried cocaine
I'm soaked in beer, and I think blood. Why did we think we could tap a keg with a hammer?
Pre-drinking/conditioning my liver for this impending hurricane party associated with cat. 2 hurricane Irene. Be ready to roll in a weather channel minute.
I was very proud of myself that day. I had an awesome time. I don't care if I negatively impacted others.
He had a shameless baby voice when he was talking to my dog. There's no way I'm making it through the night with my clothes on.
Is "incoherent" a legit goal to strive for tonight? Or should I stay sober enough to fuck who I can?
Turns out he's old enough to be my dad. I'm so excited. I've never had a sugar daddy before. What should I ask for first!? Want anything?
If there was a tv show called "True Life: My 58 Year Old Dad Rolls Better J's Than Me" I'd be on it.
No, supporting your unemployed boyfriend IS NOT what credit cards are for.
Your brother just walked into my room, pissed drunk and butt naked, got into my bed and fell asleep. In knowing I am gay, you have one hour to deal with him before I do
I'm not allowed back because I may or may not have insulted his beer. And the entire Czech Republic.
Do you find Darth Vader masks attractive?
Omg the world wants us to be better people
I refuse
Just for once I'd like my first interaction with a new GP to not be an obvious sex injury.
Randomize
