I CAN MOONWALK!
I think my fart just growled at me.
Sweater Vest, Chin Strap, Beard, sporting a white Beret- Please don't ever let me be THAT guy.
i just spent an hour trying to convince my blind date that star wars is better than star trek. help me
Ahhh... Adderall running out my nose in the shower really brings back memories.
I dk what to do with this kid he is like legitimately interested in my life.
You need to take one for the team and go bang a random sample of mexicans. Cause my internets broke and I can't google mexican foreskin stats.
And at least you didn't have a dinner of Ranch Pringles and Double Stuff Oreos. I forgot that part of being single.
This just spotted: a bagpiping Elmo on the street.
On duty sugar tits. A Marine never abandons his post to take nudi pics.
He played me Kanye.. Speaking my love language.. He got a well deserved BJ
Do you have feelings for this penis?
3 cups of coffee and some molly. The "Tay's Day Off Diet"
HE’S PUKING UP BLOOD
okay all good I mistook strawberita for blood...
This may be the most redneck thing I've ever said, but I know all there is to know about farting dogs
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