Remember that time i walked in on your friend taking a huge shit?
Remember that time you hooked up with him?
Situation: He got it in my eye, how long do I let it sting before should start to worry?
just got 3 freshman girls to makeout with each other at a toga party! score!
why is this not a picture message?!?!
she would be the type to have more hair on her twat than on her head
she has to be all "alternative"
no one was sober enough to set up jenga so we just threw the pieces at the last person to drink
If we both finish he brings me a beer and cookies, if only he finishes I get wine and cheesecake. I think I'm in love.
No. Mother. Fucking. Jello shots. Just no. I'm not falling into that trap again.
Kid got laid mid-party wearin a fuzzy hat with ears and 40's taped to his bear paws... wtf
Nick is about to bring home a woman who is 39, a mother, and, by all accounts, FUCKING HOMELESS. Will update as details become available.
Visiting Houston was a good decision for my penis.
Hey where the fuck is the rest of my beer? Lets start this day off right
Idk. The bad part of me thinks it's a good idea. The bad part is also the stupid part.
The most awkward thing in the morning is seeing your teacher's dick right before you go to his class.
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
You've got the chocolate, drugs and my pants. You hold all the cards...
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