There need to be more gay people on my afternoon soaps.
Don't worry, nothing happened....but we should have a fire extinguisher here.
I'm okay. We got a prayer rug sent to us with the face of jesus on it. From Tulsa Oklahoma. Kinda weird.
I haven't seen her in ages, how is she?
Well I woke up next to her this morning so I guess I would say she could be doing better
Woke up with your brother in my bed...where do you want me to return him?
Is it bad if I just put band-aids over my nipples? Way too hungover be dealing with a bra
She gave me a can of steel reserve to pour on myself in the shower
Well. Now I feel like I put pants on for nothing.
Remember when I made out with that stranger at the bar on my 21 in chicago? I wonder how he's doing
I'm starting to think my emotional health is declining because I was watching transformers today and legit almost started crying
Jeff brought me a cup of coffee to my desk. He's getting a blow job.
For a second I thought that you were becoming a decent person again. I am glad I was wrong.
So you think Jesus would be proud of me for walking of shame into my apartment 10 minutes before I told my parents I'd be over for Easter?
I left my red butterfly dildo laying on my bedroom floor this morning....my landlord is currently showing the house to people. Fuck can't ever face him again.
So you realized he wasn't actually cheating on you and now you're trying to unfuck things. Or in this case unfuck Tom.
Randomize
