counting down the days left of school on my birth control packet.
bouncer thought i was tryin to get the license plate numbers of strippers to stalk them. I had to go show him where I threw up to get back in.
she peed on how many people?
Step one go to argentina step two fuck bitches it's a simple plan really
Did u see the proverb she left as a comment on my picture?
You should photoshop their heads on tigers first!!
For my parents' annivery card? How high are you?
Just stuck all that extra cocaine money we made in a savings account...like a responsible adult..
side note: on a scale of 1-10, how bad an idea is it to hook up with 9 cats guy?
We just got busted fucking in the hammock by his roommate...I'm so out of here as soon as hes asleep....
I don't know if the fact that I carry lube in my purse means I'm living life right or I'm doing it wrong..
Pretty sure my parents just hear me get off from the living room but I feel like they should be proud that I did it without a man honestly.
Safe to say we should stock up on nipple bandaids ladies
Long fucking story. But hey I got an orgasm and breakfast so I'm winning.
All I want to do is drink an excessive amount of free alcohol bought from strange men, while taking frequent trips to the bathroom to snort an assortment of illicit drugs off dirty toilet seats. Break cannot get here quick enough...
I just saw a guy faceplant off a unicycle while holding a saxophone, while his buddy riding another unicycle and sporting a flute rode by laughing
Only at UConn...
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