Anything crazier than usual happen? I woke up in a stairway with my cock out.
getting caught by my parents in bed with another guy was way easier coming out than telling them over dinner like I had planned.
you kept say ridiculous things then repeating them in perfect classical latin. You are onee intelligent drunk
Life is so much better when you know you're gonna get laid soon.
Yeah, it kinda sucks. But it was fun while it lasted. And honestly, his penis is way too big for my life.
Tomorrow's thirsty thursday is now sponsored by the three time champion, chemisty failure. celebration starts asap.
Topless dodge ball cldnt top that
So apparently they remodeled our middle school. Looks like we'll need to find a new roof to play beer pong on this summer.
I just recorded myself pooping, then uploaded to google drive, then connected to my pc through teamviewer then downloaded it, then played it to the living room while still pooping. God I love the internet.
him and the cab driver we buy e from got into a fist fight, about which show is better, futurama or family guy.
It was Thanksgiving sex. I was thankful for it. Need I say more?
So my booty call knows your bf. Apparently they were in jail together
8 stitches. Next time I decide to twerk while doing a keg stand, stop me.
i knew my hormones were back to normal when i went to ikea and didn't want to fuck any of the workers
Don't take advice from me. I'm simultaneously shitting and eating cheesecake.
Randomize