My Blind Date Arrived. She looks like something I'd draw with my left hand.
all I remember was being half naked drinking water on my hands and knees from her dogs water bowl.
like what am i supposed to say "im thinking of how bad that sex was"?
Taking a shot for every status related to the patriots losing. Hello hospital.
I have decided to cut my hair. This is based solely on the fact there is too much of it to clean vomit out every Sunday afternoon.
I thought I broke my iPhone. I was almost as depressed as the day I broke my vibrator.
Rode a jet ski for the first time three days after I lost my virginity. Hell of a week for my vagina.
The tent wall coming unstaked in the wind and hitting me in the face really sobered me up
I woke up to him eating me out, listening to classical music.
We made the pizza boy do Jell-o shots with us. He didn't even deliver to our house, we just called him over from the neighbors
Still at home. Videotaping hamsters.
the night literally screamed "cock and ball torture"
The walk of shame was so much longer today. i have to start fucking guys in my own postcode.
I got a 93 percent on my last mid term and I was drunk. Think of the possibilities if i were sober for the one thats tommorrow.
You do realize last night you asked me if shampoo had an expiration date then cried for 15 mins when I told you it did
Randomize