omg he said he wants to insert his penis into my vagnia what do i say
tell him to stop quoting family guy
1 of the best things of being a business owner is I don't get fired for having sex in the office
dude ... she has a full length mirror in her shower, don't even tell me shes not dtf
My third nipple is alarmingly under-appreciated.
does she really think making her boyfriend delete me on facebook is going to magically stop us from hooking up?
Dude I am not desperate enough to pay my dealer in change. Maybe tomorrow.
Pizza toast. It's like pizza but on toast. BC we are broke. OMG its so good.
You would never do this sober.
How big of a disservice to the economy would we be doing if we didn't drink every day holiday break?
I'm at a gyno in Japan. Safe to say every possible rule of etiquette is about to be broken. Buckle up, motherfuckers.
So when I walked out, everyone was chanting ONE OF US, someone draped a lei over my head, and then she grabbed my ass and dragged me back into the bedroom. I'd say it was a pretty good night to lose my virginity.
You are the jesus of drinking
She's seen your dick through your pants. You don't need to ask
How do I send someone an apology text for giving them a lap dance in the middle of a party last night?
I just noticed, at some point last night I got on iTunes and purchased over 100 classical piano songs.
She's wear your skin crazy! Is it wrong that I'm gonna fuck her 1 more time though?
Randomize
