Thanks for last night it was amazing as always
What are you talking about
You've got to be kidding me
She came to work with 6 additional layers of make-up, playing every Nickelback song about explicit teen sex, and with a dozen twinkies she bet she could finish without chewing any. I'm investing in a rape whistle.
Is it appropriate to get drunk, stand up at the wedding and make a toast to "the time the lovely bride asked me to come on her chest"?
our generation is not ready to get married
he said he wants to do me james and the giant peach style. im afraid of what that means. but moderately excited. wish me luck.
He threw me out a window and then threw raw ground beef at us. Normally you'd hate someone for that, but that guy's great.
i have this gut feeling friday is going to be interesting.\nAnd by interesting I mean I feel like im going to get punched in the face by his girlfriend.
You have permanently scared my back with your nails. I would like to congratulate you on a job well done.
so I am that guy with the red solo cup in class. someone has to step it up.
Was in the middle of a keg stand, the frat guys dropped me, and I broke my nose. My mom didn't enjoy that call from the hospital.
I'd feel bad about being drunk at the Christmas service, except for the fact that I've already had sex in this church, so this is just small change.
There. Isnt. A. Single. Person. Who. Is. Not. High. At. Church.
Dude, naked camping ALWAYS takes precedence. I would skip my own funeral to go naked camping.
you said you were the change fairy and you kept throwing all of your quarters at me.
Just got invited to a tree party by some random chicks. They're literally just sitting up in a tree with a handle of rum and a box of goldfish crackers and yelled at me as I was walking by...
Don't come up here. Strippers r crying.
Randomize
