Come on the kid is gayer than me
Like the straightest thing he could do right now is take it up the butt
Dude we got so high last night. I said "watch this" threw a goldfish cracker in the toilet, and laughed my ass off. We watched the dvd menu for 30 minutes too.
Want updates from david's night out drinking? If so text back DAVID to this number. Std rates apply.
So after the reception we snuck back into the church for drunken hook up. we passed out there and woke up in time for 6am mass still dressed from the wedding. spiritually trashy or classy?
Just made gatorade. in the bathtub.
So I found the perfect "Yeah I gained weight since high school but it went to all the right places" outfit for the reunion this weekend.
In related news, I couldn't want to blow you more if your dick made harmonica noises.
Currently at a fetish club with a set of swings (don't ask). Having flashbacks to the park by my house
That's how all the girlfriends are. Oh he's a boy, no worries, then BAM. I blow their boyfriend.
I don't know how guys can take themselves seriously when they see themselves naked
Trying to stay sober at a family function but hiccuping so fucking loud. "Have you been drinking?" I hit on my cousin so yeah. I have been drinking.
I'm gonna watch porn and nap. I think I really have this Valentine's Day thing down
The cop took you back from the hospital and the lady at the front desk said "how are you doing cal?" You said "how do you know my name?" she responded "you're the only person i've ever seen that can throw up in your back pocket." Skills dude.
I’m not washing my pussy with handsoap.
operation Bang Australian Boy = oh so successful
Randomize
