herpes texted me again. he says he wants my vagina.
ok we should really consider changing this guys nickname...
All he wants to do is masturbate while I sit there with my big toe up his ass that is not even the worst part of it.
Well on the bright side, I only need a sophomore to complete the fuck-a-guy-from-every-year-challenge.
The bloodstain in the garden looks like a sad face. Like I don't already know this is bad...
Is asking my 8-year-old brother if he will make us shot glasses in his ceramics class too far?
he texted me at 3am asking for "one of my famous blowjobs"
I'm trying to find candidates for my winter break hook up. I'm going to hold auditions thanksgiving break.
We ate our feelings. Then drank our feelings. I feel feminism delivered.
Braid them armpits, sister.
You passed out with your mouth on the faucet, straddling the keg, with your arms wrapped around it
I'm ashamed and embarrassed. Unless we get drunk and have random sex with people we will never see again we might lose ourselves.
I can't tell if my roommate is crying or having sex and the fact that there's anime in the background is only making this more confusing
Just let me suck your dick and be happy. Let me have this.
I fucked her on her ex's Yankee sheets while she was wearing an Ortiz jersey...of course she gets to meet my mother
How was that girls surprise party last night?
Got absolutely destroyed tried to put somebody's leather jacket on and make out with their mother. You know.. the norm
Tequila. The ruiner of all good intentions.
Randomize
