no but I have been chillin' like em' homeboys in the rainforest yo!
Well we can cross off dogs, dating sites, and real life as ways to help you meet a chick.
She transformed our coors light pitcher we stole from the bar into a fruit basket...
he just kept repeating that I have nice areolas
started to yawn and threw up hamburger helper instead. awesome night.
You seriously looked at the house acorss the street and implied that you thought they had nice Easters.
Find out what day classes start and I will come down to Richmond that weekend. Any broad who claims to be 18-21 will be promptly ID'd. My job has trained me to spot a fake from a mile away, and I don't need a statutory rape charge.
If I come back tomorrow to find a certain football player tied up and locked in your closet, shit's gonna get real.
I'll set him free tomorrow morning ;)
You see it tends to piss fathers off when they find their daughter in the arms of a shirtless guy that neither he nor his daughter knows.
but you were the sluttiest panda there and you need to embrace it
My dad just saw me take dirty one night stand underwear out of my purse. I'm willing to admit I have a problem
Whip out the absinthe and the taquitos, this motherfucker just passed the bar.
I straight up told your dad I've slept with a majority of your family
I just destroyed that poor boy. Picked him up and put him wherever I wanted, it was like the Pride version of Elf on a Shelf.
I'm still drunk, my mom is throwing up, and there is a random Irish guy out getting our house breakfast right now. Wednesday's are my bitch.
Randomize
