im a genious. moved my bed and mirror so i can watch the game while Fucking
My dad just walked in on me screwing the chick from the bar...the look of relief on his face was sort of hurtful.
professor came back from spring break missing a tooth
Are you scared? I basically plan on us looking like giant drunk skittles
Parents weekend was a success.
Yeah, I guess so if you consider being arrested and having your parents bail you out a success...
Bail could have come out of your pocket so yes, I think we were financially responsible this weekend.
Accidently said "your going to hurt the baby" when he got forceful with his thrusts. I guess I forgot to mention to him that we are pregnant.
I've given up for the day already. I just wanna eat cheesecake and hide from her.
He looks like a fat version of lurch from the adams family and smells like fritos. This is not the caliber man I want pleasuring himself to the thought of me!
Join us. We're on the roof drinking breakfast
SOMEONE has to puke in the potted plants at an Xmas party. As their boss I felt it should be me.
He hasn't touched a vagina in two and a half years. THIS IS WAY TOO MUCH PRESSURE TO BE UNDER
I had sex with a mask on because I have the flu and I didn't want to get him sick.
I'm having a hard time eating my sandwich knowing how many different buttholes my hands were in last night.
how do I say, without sounding slutty... That I can take a dick?
I'm hungry and horny. DEADLY COMBINATION.
Randomize