One of my boys faked an orgasm while fucking a girl tonite, w/ out wearing a condom mind you.
She caught him, and immediately put her clothes on and left.
Kicked off drink for Jesus month by puking in my mouth while talking to my priest...real cool
and then you went into taco bell without pants...and surprisingly you weren't the only one there without pants
When you accidentally type "I want Prince William to fuck me in the ass" to your mom there's really no way to take that back.
You know me. Don't need roses, just dick and food.
it wasnt a pity fuck per say. i wasnt attracted to her, but still thought 'that looks like a fun ride'
He keeps texting me videos of fish swimming in his fish tank, so I think it's safe to say he's back on weed.
I'm using the house around the corner that my parents rent out to people as a means of getting sex. I just tell them I'm going for a walk and just invite my next hook up over
Ever had someone sing happy birthday to you during sex?
I feel like we have both made good decisions regarding our vaginas lately
God I need to stop before there's a picture of my dick on my mom's phone.
You think you know everything because you're wearing a sweater
WHO DOES THAT ON A TUESDAY? This is not a Drake joke, the girl doesn't turn up OR down. She doesn't do anything.
on a scale of one to ten where does vomming from being hungover during a professionalism lecture fit
I just found your shirt hanging in a tree 4 blocks from the party...in the opposite direction of your house. where are you going?
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