Jason Williams (yeah the ex-nets center...) drunkenly told me that, while drinking, I should take an ambien and a cialis before i go home...that will "give me a 25 minute window to have sex and then goto sleep before the bitch starts bothering me"....
They made my facebook status "I got my period!!!." Every guy I've had sex with at college liked it.
Is it bad that I stopped wanting to fuck her as soon as I noticed she had dry skin?
I sometimes completely doubt that you're straight.
He gave me the "I've pictured you while jerkin off" look
I returned the dress. When they asked for the reason for return I said, 'I don't deserve to wear white'.
Improvement. She went from pretending she was the soccer ball in the world cup games and it hurt when they kicked her to passed out on the floor.
I like that we make it a requirement to howl at the moon every time we get drunk together.
The idea of snorting emergen-c actually just crossed my mind.
Not much, just your average college male Sunday cleaning period blood out of the carpet.
Tell me you're kidding.
Besides scarred, I'm not much of anything right now.
Just heard my neighbor say "I'm just gonna lay down in a coma until someone comes into my room and hands me a beer." He's got his priorities straight
How do we turn this unicorn pinata into a bong?
We're in the kiddy pool eating marshmellows and drinking wine out of a box. Please dress casual.
I got really adventurous too. Like. Balls in the mouth adventurous.
Well I got black out drunk before the rehearsal dinner and berated my family with insults. But other then that it was a good time
For future reference, when he drunkenly screams "YOUR MOTHER SUCKS COCKS IN HELL," he means that he's about to throw up. Invest in a bucket.
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