I fucked **** last night, don't tell mike
this is mike. we're done.
As my groomsman, I expect you to learn the Thriller dance with me before next September.
I just made easy mac in my blender. Beat that.
He gave me a promise ring. He promised that he will imagine me as every girl he fucks in college.
If i theoretically had to put an iv back in what do I need to do?
my roommate had a few special brownies and wrapped my purse and one of my shoes and left them under the tree for me...
I'm almost positive that you shat in a birdhouse
While randomly hooking up with my neighbor last night he says "it's okay we're neighbors".
I just sneezed and margarita mix and ash came out of my nose. I love jersey
my ass is still wet. this is highly unpleasant. give me 5 to get changed and I'm all yours. or you can yell things to me while I shower and burn clothes
She wanted me to stick my dick in the birthday cake she got me
You pee in parking lots....i drive home naked.....thats the american dream i was promised
I can still taste your cum in my mouth and my in-laws are coming over. This should go well.
And to be clear I have only watched porn like 3 times at work
Who did he bring home?
Idk. But did you see her shoe choice by the stairs, I'm really not expecting anything great.
Randomize