Pussy?
how
Wat do u mean how?
Why did I wake up this morning with 10 tally marks on my hand and a penis drawn on my tits?
You can tell alot about a person by their poo.. For example, he was a smoker.
Does transporting jello shots count as driving with an open container?
he passed out at 11 at a party. he deserved to be stripped down an duct taped to the floor
I've woken up in some weird places in my lifetime, but never in a tent in my own garage.
explain the broken jalepenos in my underwear drawer?
do you remember when we thought we were both knocked up by the same guy like two days apart and would have half twins? Thats a best friend moment.
Was my mother there when I broke the stipper pole?
Dude, if I don't end up wearing a banana suit in Milwaukee, I will consider that trip a complete failure.
My mom just asked if I wanted a mimosa when I got out of the bath.
I think everything's gonna be okay.
When creating your wedding guest list do you put the girl you & your fiance had a threesome with under your friends or his friends?
I'm about to go get lunchables and alcohol. Take that adulthood
I made the antidote to the nasty cognac. I AM THE GOD OF MIXED DRINKS.
Dude I just woke up with a dog sleeping on me.
I thought you didnt have a dog??
Exactly.
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