I just found out she jerks off to lesbian porn too honest to god
you wouldn't believe how perfect a match this is its scary
Phease come get me i thought i was in a place i don't even understand
Nothing says never again like hurling in the shower.
Now that I'm hitting my bong, I realized I haven't missed something so much in a long time. I love Thomas the Dank Engine.
Hah no, But it might feel like water boarding to my soul
I'd have paid money to see Cookie Monster playing with a vibrator
I think I'm leaving the streamers and balloons up from 4th of july till after he stops by. It'll be like the universe is celebrating his massive dick.
Drinking wine from a straw at 6:15 in the morning. This is what college does to people.
he would snap chat his dick as like Harry Potter
My vagina needs a break, I had to ice it with a beer bottle last night.
So...I maybe walked across campus last night with my life size Joe Biden cut out.
You should probably come home from vacation now. I make badddd decisions when you're gone.
Legal advice please. Can you sue someone for jerking off to photos of you?
The text I got from my boyfriend this morning: "babe, I'm not mad because I know you were drunk, but you kissed 3 guys last night and I wasn't one of them".
After this weekend my vagina will follow his penis anywhere. It’s like the pied piper, but with penis
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