he told me it was because of the roids, but i couldn't tell if he meant ster or hem.
Pls stop me from telling anyone else my broken blood-vessel + splint are "climax-related" injuries.
Even the bartender felt bad for me
every time fb tells me a dude i fucked is now friends with another dude ive fucked, i die a little inside. thats way more honesty than im comfortable with.
I'm just concerned it's gonna end up in my vagina again
Our house almost burnt down last night. I woke up at 4:10am to the smoke alarm going off bc the bean bag chair was on fire so i extinguished it and smoked a bowl at 4:20 to celebrate my fire extinguishing abilities
She fell down no less than 4 times while we were at the club. One of which was while she was in the bathroom stall next to me.
I know it must have been a hard break up. Are you okay?
Oh yeah, I'm fine dude. My vaginas heart is broken though. I feel bad for her, you should give her a call sometime.
I left for five minutes and Chris wound up half in women's clothes, half naked. And the naked half was covered in shamrock stickers.
His last name was woodcox? That just screams I've got a great penis
HIS NAME IN MY PHONE IS JOSHUA DREAMCHASER I CAN NOT
NO SHAME NOVEMBER
They've taken all the lighthearted fun out of S&M.
So like if I threw up in my purse is that "don't ever show your face in public again" worthy or just slightly frowned upon
anyone can pick a bar fight and pick up a waitress at a bar, not everyone hangout with two wolves. TWO WOLVES.
We had sex on his sofa while his friend cheered and threw bugles at us
Randomize
