Never fear I pulled out... she had "lies about taking birth control" written all over her
Well if yoir are still awake and secided to drink... You may aswell drink
That text needs to switch to water.
So I pulled my t-shirt down, pushed my boobs up and marched right into that church!
If you are in NYC and not seeing anyone, you should come fucke me now because:1 i am not in love with you anymore, 2 i am drunk enough where i won't feel the n eed to kisx you awardly to avoid your beard, 3we have unfinished business that i wpn't get -assed unyil orgass have been had, 4 i really really want to
I just saw a commercial for "tickle me elmo hands" and I am almost 100 percent sure that at the end elmo said "yeaaaaa boooyyyyyy"
At least you're going to bed with all the teeth you woke up with
last thing I heard her say before I passed out was 'this is great. I never get to be the big spoon.'
He said he's gonna start calling me "Benny" because we're "friends with bennyfits"
HE HAS A CHODE. LIFE IS NOT GOING TO BE EASY FOR HIM.
Theres a high probability there will be two hot men waiting on you in your bed when you get home for lunch.
You sucked a guys dick who's name was Chad and that wasn't a sign that it was a bad idea?!
When I say "is it a bad idea to do Mollie before an 8hr shift tomorrow?" I dont want to hear the truth I want to hear you encouraging my bad decisions
He's drunk and I'm pain-killer high and we're about to watch fireworks at disney world. It's gonna be fucking magical
Will you rub my calves while I masturbate?
Just had a threesome with a married couple.
Stop living my dream.
Randomize
