The sex was great until she started shouting, "Succeed!, Succeed!" Then it was like I was fucking a motivational speaker. Awkward.
Actions speak louder than words. Her actions scream crazy.
This girl brought half a watermelon to class. I want to be on her level.
Yeah I hope so. Definately just saw two freshmen in very authentic togas and cotton ball beards. This new class is stepping it up.
the most drunk i have ever been? possibly. the most drunk i have ever been on a monday? definently.
He said he forgot to take his shoes off, and that he was a bad boy because he was walking on the carpet. Then he sang. Then he shouted "I'M STILL FORGETTING."
...Then she just started hitting me with a loaf of bread.
Im in Ft Meyers right now looking right at an alligator. I have had a couple of beers and people are telling me not to feed him but Im gonna do it anyway.
I'm sorry I ignored your high cries for help while you were grating cheese on my dog.
Just found my old bop it. So many drinking game possibilities
I'm sexting at the thanksgiving dinner table...this is a new holiday tradition.
I want to be stormed in. I want to be stuck there. I want to climb a pyramid of strippers to safety
Does this mean I don't have to apologize for launching about 20 bead necklaces at you from the balcony?
Thank you for caring about my cervix.
I slept naked with a towel wrapped around my waist in case I pissed the bed again
Randomize
