He said I was like bonnie and clyde all rolled into one but twice as trashy and 75% less clothes...
He obviously understands you completely.
He's sobering up. It was really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together.
not exactly restoring sanity, but he is throwing up on the national mall right now
peeing off your aunts pourch into the koy pond seemed like a good idea at the time
You got cut off after you tried to make the dog funnel moscato.
sold 4 oz of weed today pantsless. man i love college.
We're like Siamese twins, but joined at the genitals.
I hate it when the guy who runs the chicken and waffles truck is convinced that I run a cult.
that is the opposite of a normal text message.
The sense of comroderie I've built with my liver over the course of this semester is beautiful
I just realized that the first thing he ever bought me was Plan B.
A duck just looked me in the eye whilst I peed in a lake. I feel so dirty.
listen. i haven't sucked a dick in well over three years but i believe in myself.
I just read my D.A.R.E. essay from 5th grade. I'm having mixed feelings about my previous life choices right now.
as a self proclaimed hoe im ok with a lotta things but that is not fucking one of them
I refuse to fake an orgasm. If I'm dating him, he better work for that shit.
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