she definitely has that "I'll bang you, but then I'll tell your girlfriend" look to her.
i just set an alarm for noon. fuck yes winter break.
He said he's gonna start calling me "Benny" because we're "friends with bennyfits"
he literaly had industrial grade plastic underneth his blankets
Don't worry about it. I've taken so much Plan B, my uterus is purely for show now.
we're making bets on your personal life
Made a visit to my old puking stall. I missed it.
Don't judge me. If you're going to fall off a bed you might as well do it gracefully into a bag full of beer.
That's all? I'm a pro at gay chicken. I'll touch his dick, I have no problem with that.
No one is allowed to go to bed until all bottles are finished, I don't want to feel my face tongiht. Do you understand?
Was having relations of the behind variety with my girlfriend. Based on where we were at I could see myself in the bathroom mirror. You know I did the Patrick Bateman point and wink at the mirror and turned on sissudio by Phil Collins.
In my defense, there are at least three ways to die doing that, and I'm still here. America, Fuck Yeah!
There needs to be a greeting card for "I miss having sex and smoking weed with you."
I rocked his world in the back of my car in an overly-lit, heavily trafficked parking lot. Middle age is amazing!
That awkward moment when you bring a guy back to your place then have to tell him you only have magnums.
Randomize
