Come on the kid is gayer than me
Like the straightest thing he could do right now is take it up the butt
i wonder if she gts uncomfortable walkin bu when she knows we all know what her pussy tastes like
I had a dream that the allstate guy hooked up with flo from the pregressive insurance commercials and she gave birth to the geico gecco. I need to stop taking ambian.
seeing an 80 year old woman puke in the bushes changes everything...
that's spring break in florida for ya
I can't wait to get all this Makers out of my shoe.
just gave a yankee's fan wrong directions to Fenway....welcome to boston asshole
I chased a girl up a staircase screaming because she had a cardboard cut out of James Dean which, at the time, I believed to my friend being held against his will
Apparently drunk me thinks it's a good idea to put drops of acid in assorted open drinks in the fridge... This should be a fun week.
dude a monday night stripper made you motorboat her. you should get that checked out
He put himself in the friend zone by calling me dude all night so I blew his friend. Judge me.
just peed on my shirt somehow, im calling it a day
he was having a black light party and drinking manischewitz wine out of a three foot tall trophy he stole from mcdonald's...that's when I decided it was time to leave
idk i was trying to watch Fuller House and you got up out of a dead sleep, just in your boxers, said "no more Dave Coulier" and walked out to the living room and unplugged the router
If I die tonight somebody's going to have to let all my tinder matches know.
Holy. Shit. I just remembered all the lapdances....
Randomize