That's intense
New boss looks like john cusack in a collar. Hot. Why do i always want to have sex with priests?
after the cops left he pulled the weed out of his ass and we smoked it
i almost got kicked out of the rave because i was trying to get in on some couple's makeout sessions
Just had to have the guy at Sprint clear the dried cum out of the trackball on my Blackberry. Wonder if that happens to him often.
Thanks for not cleaning the drain like you were supposed to. I just vomited in the shower and I had to stand in it until I was done conditioning.
He tried to stick it in and I asked him what he wanted to name our child and he quit.
I know you claim to have a large penis but I do not believe in what i cannot see. Sort of like god.
5am, I am wayy too drunk for this. Hookers came out of nowhere. They're like ninjas. Some poor soul got the fat one, tomorrow's going to be interesting...
We got to his house at 7am and two random guys were on the couch shot gunning beers saying we were late for the party
I just woke and boke and made apple pancakes. I'm kicking Monday in the dick.
Last time I checked he was house sitting for his ex while she was out of town with some new dude. He was crying about how the guy told him to stay out of his whiskey while he was gone. That's whipped
Does going to a local bar count as taking part in Small Business Saturday? Asking for a friend
avocado toast wont fix the fact you did a bunch of blow you fucking hipster
just played fuck the dealer and thunderstruck with my physics ta. he is the third ta that i have drank with this semester, i think i'm getting good at college
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