somehow on my way home with matt, I ended up straddling steve on the sidewalk and polling the people walking by on whether or not we should have sex.
can you sing with all the voices of the mountain? can you paint with al the colors of the windddd
wasted?
im pocohantasssss
So I decided to put different foods on my dick to see which would feel the best
and??
Cake is only good when you eat it
I told him I'd give him a BJ if he admited Hanson was good.
All I remember about walking back home was that I maced my shadow.
First day at work... I clogged up the office toilet on purpose to assert my dominance.
That's why they call him "the cheesegrater".
Shared a jello shot with her mom last night. then she tucked me in and took of my shoes for me
Dude. I have so much pot that i only worry about running out of lighters
omg. MEgabus. stoned.
Theres these two guys talking.
Whatever you do tomorrow don't let me put on the Borat mankini and yell "POLAR PLUNGE!!" while diving into the pool
The pool is covered.....
Like that would stop me.
A homeless man just offered me vodka. The power it took to deny it deserves an award.
Why do I feel so obligated to masterbate just because I’m single and it’s valentines Day...
Wow i just puked in front of the lady that was drug testing me. I passed though!
I had a dream that I was smoking rasberries out of a bong. THEY WEREN'T EVEN DRIED...
Randomize
