bahahaha. this guy working at subway literally has someone's name tattooed on his arm, crossed out, and another name below it.
Every time he makes fun of me for anything I just remind myself he ate ice cream out of a strippers vagina
you kept screaming that dicks were growing out of your back and then you started crying cause they were so far from your vag
could you get any more awkward?
You just kept saying over and over "Tell me I won't do it." Someone finally told you you won't. You did. Welcome to herpes.
i stapled my math hw together with an ear ring, too ghetto?
a stripper queefed in my friends mouth last night and it reminded me of you. miss you
He has been begging me for a Bj but doesnt want to get mono
How is he gunna get mono? is he gunna suck on his dick after you?
i just remembered i chipped my tooth last night when i pulled up your pants zipper with my teeth
I'm lying on the floor in the back room praying my boss doesn't come to work today.never again
Note to self: Don't go home with a recent divorcee. Semen and tears.
If you don't get head tonight I will castrate you
Seriously. Castrate.
i am willing to donate my body to this science experiment when it means free blowjobs
I'm just more comfortable with the bondage
I know I'm high, but the dude in target definitely just told me that it's best to walk through every door in life like you're a t-rex....
I was so high I kept trying to flush the toilet with the light switch
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