would you kill someone to have someone deliver pancakes to you when you were high?
For what it's worth, your chances of anal go up the more she loves you. There's always a silver lining.
Just took my first sake bomb. I love japan
He wanted a handjob during a John Wayne movie. I just couldn't find it in my heart to disrespect that man. John Wayne that is.
When you get home we need to compare our schedules and set up masturbation slots. I'm scares of you walking in on me. Again.
How do I tell my Dad that in the picture he has of me and my brother as the background of his phone we were both rolling face on ecstasy?
I'd like to thank you fucktards for dumping the WHOLE box of Tricuits in my bed after I passed out.
I'm pregnant.
The fact that this number is not in my contacts is giving me hope it's a wrong number???
That's what you get for dating construction workers you meet in tunnels.
I told you, I'm taking a sledgehammer to your walls. Fuck your walls.
I'm Batman.
I do NOT want my proposal story to start "...he was peeing on me and then..."
I tried to suck your dick underwater and almost drowned
Dollars spent: $83, Girls kissed: 4, Girls slept with:2, Girls currently making me breakfast: 1, Fucks given: 0
Mom has wine in a to go cup. It's that kind of night.
Just threw up mid-poop. I can't drink like I used to.
Randomize
