So does your leg always twitch violently when someone plays with your clitoris? Or has my ten years of piano playing finally paid off?
Things to remember: Girls don't appreciate it when you yell "Beast Mode!" when switching to doggy style.
I just put on my hot pinky lace thong... you know what that means! ;)
Oh god. Slutty you is on the run. Someone needs to alert the city.
Discovered the secret to willingly attending my 3-o'clock class. Ahoy, Cap'n.
I just watched a girl use a tall boy Coors as a rolling pin to make christmas cookies
My cha cha got a haircut
thank god. going down on you was like chewing on astroturf
i need to find a notary that isn't going to turn me in for blatantly lying to the us and chilean governments
They were picking gravel out of my face for an hour. I think I took more out of the road than the road did of me.
Barfights against pavement aren't genrally won by people. Props.
you ate dog biscuits in front of my dogs and laughed at them for not have opposable thumbs
Licking pop rocks off a stranger's washboard abs and kissing strangers young enough to be my kid. Yeah, it was THAT kind of party last night
When I picked you up, you were drinking Maker's Mark out of the bottle with a crazy straw.
2 things: 1) can you get hep from toilet water? And 2) do you know where we can get a new skillet for cheap?
Please tell me those aren't related.
I made rice.
omg sorry but i tried to stop you when you were at your drunk limit but i took my eyes off you for like 2 seconds and you suddenly appeared with hard liquor in both hands for yourself and downed them and it was downhill from there
You've been dating this guy for a month now and as your best friend I have to complain that I still don't how big his dick is.
I threw up all of my purple drank and thats really important
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