suntimes in life you find a rare opportunity, mine was bonin my gf in front of the tv
so when am I gonna get some from you?
when you dick grows 3 inches
Signed everyone in my dorm up for free samples of astroglyde. Took me an hour. Happy new years!!!!!
my new years resolutions dont apply when im drunk
So about class tomorrow..... i,ll be there. But I may be still a bit drink and wearing a suit. I'll explain when I get there.
just because you are in college doesnt mean its okay to pregame easter mass.
I remember her trying to talk to me a few times after we broke up and I'd always change the subject to bagels.
You don't even know the meaning of faking an orgasm until you sleep with an uncircumcised ginger.
Nice. Don't spend your therapist's co-pay on Jaeger bombs.
You know it's a good party when even the dealers were too fucked up. Just found and counted 140 E pills I found in a bag in the couch. Just paid for weed this month.
Guess who just got out of a ticket because the cop liked her costume? THIS GIRL.
so my pro life roomate found a used condom wrapped up in her sheets with your panties. never letting you have sex in her bed again
Why do I have "apologize to Dave Coulier" written on my hand?
Too bad I can't un-pee in his body wash
is it sad that the highlight of my saturday night was waiting till 3 in the morning to hear about your saturday night?
Randomize
