I have no idea who these bands are he's listening to. If his current playlist was a pandora station, however, it would be titled "music for closet cock gobblers"
She fucked me because she said I looked like Neil Patrick Harris
Theres also beggin' strips and a dog bone in the corner...nooo signs of there being a dog though.
What's a nice way of saying "You fell asleep, and I got bored, so I made out with your brother"?
He managed to tell me he was blind in one eye and convince me to have sex with him in the same conversation. It's love.
Oh my god I'm so bored. The virgin is so disinteresting when I'm not trying to cum on her face.
I might lose an organ but I've got booze. I'll be fine.
Bisexual Viking-cowboy hybrid is at the bar again
Dibsssss
You're right. Single life welcomed me back with open arms. It's like it knew it wasnt going to be long when I left.
he said he wished i had balls so he could kick me in them. then we had sex obviously
I CAN CONTROL MY GERBIL WITH MY BREATH. HE FOLLOWS THE SMELL. PROBABLY WOULDNT BE AS EXCITING IF I WASNT HIGH OFF MY ASS, BUT STILL
my mom tried to talk to me about my drinking, i somehow turned it around on her, now shes going to AA and I'm going to the bar.
Hey I didn't mean to be all lemme get with your ex husband.
If I can ever get control of my legs I will be home. Thanks... and again sorry about your bed.
I'm going to blackout. I realize this
Randomize