so... another position just opened up(704) Oh really?(704) Is it John's?(704) Or did you find a new way to take a penis?
Thanks again for letting me crash last nite. Sorry I banged your little brother.
btw ... thanks for not giving me up as the craigslist killer
i owe you one
thanks for snagging those panties for me
i feel like my life has become an afroman song and idk whether i should be sad about that or not
your all-time low pick up line was when you asked a girl "Are you rock-staring at me?"
I can't belive they dont sell booze Sunday mornings. I mean some of us have to work
you kept begging me not to tell anyone you had been a bat in another life
Puked in the hotel lobby and just kept walking. I love mardi GRAS.
if I could send you my dick right now I would. that's how good of a friend I am.
I'm going to pound you from behind over a table at the bar while I pull your hair and call you a whore...please pass along that message to Rob
He sent me a vid of himself jerking off. I hope his hands are the size of tennis rackets or it will be a very short date.
Should I be concerned you put your last name in my phone as "danger"?
He cannot be your sugar daddy. He looks like a literal hot dog.
Have you ever had a pregnancy test laugh at you?
When do you think the murder is going to happen in this Lifetime movie of ours?
Randomize
