I am at a 420 party and i just told a girl "hey, less not getting donuts, more getting donuts"(1-855): and did she get any doughnuts?
No. I am devastated
Yo I charged a $20 breakfast to ur room, will pay u back in liquor and schoolgirl panties, thx again for a fun time
I climb out of my sunroof. I mean its kind of embarrassing but part of me feels awesome and ninja like.
my phone is just a graveyard for last nights mistakes. at least it's giving me hints as to where i was though, i'm like carmen sandiego
Do you know how hard it is to masturbate with a runny nose?
Actions speak louder than pants.
At the same time. Hot men feeding me brownies. In between rounds of sex.
ur roommate just sent me a pic of us fucking. i'm not coming over anymore.
I know he is still a student. I am not asking if his being an underwear model makes it more ethical, just less prosocutable.
People shouldn't leave you two alone together. You're just going to end up having sex.
can i get licensed in dentistry online like a priest
Thanks for leaving me with drunk gabby
Hahahaha why what's happening?
She's sending me morse code through the wall....typical
LISTEN TO ME! DONDE ESTA LA FUCKING VICODIN!
He said he’s shouting let’s get this bread the first time we have sex...
He’s very straightforward
Mass text: dear whatever jerk off who thinks they stole drugs from me. It was birth control. Go fuck yourself. And pray that I don't get pregnant.
Who puts their birth control in a bottle with a smiley face?!
Oh fuck wait
Randomize
