it's taking a lot of effort to be mature and not reply to her with like a video of bestiality porn
The party tonight has no theme but I decided to go as a home wrecker.
I get so lonely sometimes I set my phone's alarm to go off every 5 minutes or so and imagine people are texting me.
I just put on my hot pinky lace thong... you know what that means! ;)
Oh god. Slutty you is on the run. Someone needs to alert the city.
does drinking everclear count as brushing your teeth? because i think they are sterilized
yeah, he just sent me a picture of himself with his shirt off.... It didnt turn me on, it just made me want to buy him a big mac....
he likes to slap my ass alot untill he missed and hit his own balls poor bastard kept on going.
You disappeared for an hour and showed back up with handfuls of bratwursts and yelled at my girlfriend that if she didn't eat them, that the nazis win
Oh thank the gods of upholstery, i thought that was never coming out...
Whoever owns the butter that i always steal out of the office fridge definitely put THC butter in there this time. Shit just got real.
Turns out I sent a dick pic to my sister's ex. Grindr is the devil's eharmony.
YES. YOU ARE GOING TO HAVE SEX WITH ME WHILE I SING LES MIS.
Eh maybe I should give her a chance. Let's see where making a porno takes the friendship
Nah, he's definitely here somewhere. Whether he survived the night or not is your problem, but I'm pretty sure he's around.
For full disclosure: I told my roommates last night that you have a very clean asshole.
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