This row in front of you is like duck, duck, goose - but eating disorder, eating disorder, failed eating disorder
I found out he doesn't have a facebook, twitter, or myspace. So, I'm going to actually go to his house to spy on him.
So I feel really bad about last night...can i give you a blow job and we call it even?
I just figured out, there are 9 children in this world that I can look at in the face and say "I fucked your mom."
We love you just as you are but we might love you more if we didn't have to post bail so often...
A nice make out session never hurt anyone. Plus he's a pilot, so he'll know the safety procedures for when the night crashes and burns.
Two words that describe last night: naked and backflips.
I punched some guy in the face for being an asshole then later I went to say sorry and give him a hug and he started making out with me. How was your new years?
He's not letting me leave till I cum. I am a hostage to my own vagina
He wants to buy us a microwave. Clearly the man is going to fix my life.
I puked in the back of my mom's new car because I had too much to drink at Chilis. I think I just hit rock bottom.
What is it in my brain that makes me look at a penis and think "that belongs in my mouth"?
I'm not the kind of girl that sleeps with someone else's boyfriend. But I'm getting waxed just in case I change my mind...
Someone wrote "LazerSwords" on my cock last night. My erect cock. Tequila is no one's friend.
WAIT this kid is eating yogurt with a fucking ladle. what is happening?
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