Well its official I'm an idiot. I made out hardcore with an employee last night in our banquet room. Oh and got wasted at work. Oh and showed my staff squirrel on a trampoline.
The worst mistakes make the best memories. Write that down.
i woke up with "only hugh can prevent florist friars" written up my arm ... i need to know what we did last night
drunk enough to think that masterbating in the pool is an awesome idea
He's a Shit stain on my heart
Honest opinion...too aggressive to bring the funnel out to the bar? Also just so you know im at the bar. with the funnel.
How hard to you think I will be judged if I order 8 giant pickles from Jimmy Johns right now?
Are you considering all the consequences of doing your boss or are you just rationalizing with your vagina?
Give me a second. I'm doing my best but I'm drunk so for some reason fitting both my boobs in the pic is just incredibly difficult. They aren't THAT big. I'm just being retarded.
Orientation leader success, day 1: incoming freshman just ate out his first sorority girl. I gave him a 7/10.
Somehow you're a lightweight AND an alcoholic. Rare combo in one person. Well done.
I like to be the stable force in your otherwise chaotic existence.
Swiping left on your brother's Tinder account is possibly the worst way to learn he broke up with his girlfriend.
Today, this cop risk his life to save me from a sink hole but all I could do is laugh, I was so stoned
what do you mean he's functionally heterosexual
Randomize
