I'll pay for our taxi if you let me makeout with the drummer and we don't leave RIGHT when the bassist does.
He bought me ice cream and then I gave him a bj
I think that's fair trade off
.....so he has a son. Josh. That is not his roommate
No, the sea-green pills were klonopin, the bright blue ones are adderall. you're probably going to have to adjust your plans for the day.
I need to start giving them away because owning 20 dildos is never going to get me a boyfriend.
Our drug dealer just got busted, wear black tmrw
there is nothing like a happy birthday present when you wake up with a bow on your vagina.
she chugged a bowl of salsa and then gave my ferret weight loss tips. she's like my fucking spirit animal now
we were the definition of too high: argued for 10 minutes about who was gonna get the condom (it was 2 feet away on the night stand) and past out watching adventure time.
We lost you in the mall, but to no surprise we found you waiting in line to sit on santas lap. You said you wanted to ask him for a pound of weed and a subway giftcard for xmas.
Nothing too major over here lately. Just had a date with an ex-internet porn star turned lawyer. He said: "at my 3rd burning man I taught a workshop on BDSM" and I knew it was going to be a fun night.
I walked in on him jerking it to videos of UFC fighters. The most awkward part: he didn't stop when I walked in.
I just want you to make me second guess my worth as a human. Is that too much to ask?
Don't care if they even pay me; I lifeguard for the fringe benefits -- free tourist vagina in the Hilton jacuzzi every single night
It's official! Naked girl is back and making stir fry. Still not sure she realizes we can see her whole apartment from our balcony. Cheap beer and a show.
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