Why are you such a perv today?
This is a lot to handle
Oh shh
I'm kidding you prude take a joke
They have glow in the dark condoms. That's so scary.
Something like a penis light saber.
Just walked past a girl wearing nothing but flip flops and an oversized sweatshirt crying by the front gates eating pizza. i just found your soulmate.
don't you miss freshman year when you could get away with "but i've never given a bj before..."
I realized i make the same noise when i get a blow job as when i eat pizza
Do you understand how much easier life would be if fannypacks were normal
I said make yourselves at home, not to put a used condom on my ceiling fan.
i can barely draw a stick figure let alone shave a heart into my pubes
No. Do you know how much this carpet cost? If she comes over, you put down towels this time. i'm so not kidding.
Just woke up with an eye that wont open, a half eaten piece of pizza on my chest and a raging boner.
It took me half an hour to realize I didnt know them
She dresses like Bruce Banner and fucks like the Hulk. She is all of my lesbian fantasies come true.
See if shell let you call her dr banner in bed
Nope. Turns put my desperate group message for sex didn't work out.
Well you sent it to two guys who were roommates.
They could have rock paper scissored for it. My vagina = the prize.
he told me that I'm basically going to be the mom of the house when they move in...i like to see it as being a MILF without the responsibility of real children
First day of school is awesome. I get to meet my students and figure out which of their mothers I’ I’m going to bang
Randomize
