U know u have sex too much when u have lube in ur rolliball on ur blackberry
Since when does wearing a condom and going down on me make someone a gentlemen?
new level of vanity: sex dreams about deep throating myself...
from now on when you get up to pee in the middle of the night, check to see if im sleeping in your parking lot.
i do.
Should I feel bad that I fucked her and made her ride my little brothers razor scooter home?
Maybe its all the xanax she takes but she literally has NO shame
Your penis has nothing to do with my throat infection, sorry...
I think "I actually like giving blow jobs better" qualifies her as a keeper
Hey, I can't find my bed frame. Do you know who took it?
Hes pre-made beer lollipops so he "can suck before the sex" QUOTE!
like stop just cause your whole life has been one enormous reject pile does not mean that i have to suffer too
I just want to make out with him forever
I'm the catering manager, it's not my job to stop 2 teenagers from fucking in the bathroom. I couldn't bring myself to stop that sort of young romance anyway, that's what I pay you people for
I had sex with him and I blame the Doritos
She swallowed the car key because she thought we were really going to make her drive.
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