I think my vagina is haunted
if you don't open the door right now liz is going to get pregnant
What kind of friend are you? You don't even blackout anymore.
if you don't go out with us, what are you gonna do? you're gonna go home and watch biodome and masturbate to texts from your east coast boyfriend and see the facebook pictures from the party when you wake up.
Drunk you is everything I aspire to be in life.
I had to break up with him he didn't understand my priorities. I'm sorry but Saturday nights are for pot and Doctor Who. I'm not going to change who I am.
Drunk me forgot I'm not an 18yr old raver anymore. Adult me is now in pain.
They're showing aladdin at the bar my birthday is complete
he told me it was like eating gods vagina.
I feel like, for the first time today, we had a healthy yolo.
Just got kicked out of two hot tubs. We were naked the second time. So awkward getting out in front of the security guard.
The other guys kept waking up so I hid... Like, dick in mouth, hiding in his sleeping bag
That's the second time the same cop pulled me over well a different girl was giving me road head
does anyone know where bryan is?
last i saw he was naked, and crying in the bathroom because there was no more booze.
We’ve discussed sex and dinner. Like chicken nuggets while doing it doggie and watching tv.
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