It's not a real calculator it's a math calculator
Bonnaroo quote of the day: "why the fuck am i pregnant?!?!" - exclaimed loudly by random hippie.
She STILL went home with me even when I said yes when she asked if I had an infectious disease. Turns out she asked if I had an infectious spirit...well she has my infectious spirit now
Taking my final with a coffee mug full of keystone... best semester ever.
I should have some sort of frequent buyer card or something. I just bought my third bottle of Captain this week. It's Wednesday.
i'm not sure when it happened but apparently now it's topless bar night, im wearing a leotard and everyone is looking at me like i'm cheating.
I think a 5 ft pyramid of jello shots in honor of the egyptians is in order
Just bought a 17 year old 40's while wearing a poncho. This behavior is acceptable until I'm 25.
you 2 were alone in the living room and the dog walked in and you started yelling what are all these people doing in here
Just stuck all that extra cocaine money we made in a savings account...like a responsible adult..
It has moved into the cliche "thin line between love and hate" real quick. With her. Not Taco Bell.
Blood work from physical was all good, apparently heavy alcohol use agrees with me
Ok, in complete transparency, I am eating a cookie on my bed naked while reading a Halo novel.
Ugh, I should just give up, and fuck him in a parking lot, and shave my head and walk naked through the streets of King's Landing.
So his dick was definitely bigger than it looked in all the pictures he sent my daughter.
Randomize
