I've had a Margarita with salt, but I have to say I was impressed by the Stoli and Sprite rimmed with adderall
just heard 2 nerds making fun of a girl for mispronouncing stochiometry. they followed it up by discussing the mathematical equation for getting laid. my day just became 100x better.
I want a meaningful relationship and i wont get one if i keep giving him blow jobs in my basement while watching family guy.
When I opened my laptop there was a half eaten little debbie oatmeal cream pie inside.
We lit firecrackers from NYE in the fireplace and he was so passed out that he slept through it.
You have all of her herpes and none of my sympathy
I haven't gotten it in awhile but since spring break is next week I'm willing to have a pregnancy scare if it means no bleeding through the suit
Yeah wouldn't want it to interfere with beach sex. Nothing should interfere with beach sex
She told me to act like the hulk during sex. Shit got 9 different shades of weird
When a best friend shows up on a tricycle with a case a beer and goes "get on loser" you get on, because there is a magical adventure afoot
Time to eat Mexican food til I hate myself.
That's completely alright, I do it a lot.
I think I caught your cold through my vagina. It was worth it.
he taught all the little kids to ski. it was stupid hot. i'm pretty sure my ovaries exploded.
It's official. Post baseball sex is better than post hockey sex. I hope the Blue Jays win the world series.
Also, McDonald's breakfast is now 24/7. This is it. This is how I die. Face first in a pile of hashbrowns.
right after that u started calling me g-force and started trying to bellyslide down his drive way
Randomize
