i'm really high, and this is sooooooooooo important. how many frosties does it take to fill a bathtub?
stayed up to watch the sunrise..saw an albino taking shots on the quad..it's like there's a whole new world of people out there just waiting to meet us
I just realized I'm not towing a trailer. I thought this whole drive home I was towing a trailer. Wow too high
No. No, there is no forgiveness for this. The only way I'm forgiving you for this is if you somehow convince your sister to have sex with me. In her car.
SARAH B AND I ARE GOING TO GO HALFSIES AND BUY YOU A CAT. IS THAT OKAY. TO KEEP YOU COMPANY DURING THUNDERSTORMS SUCH AS THIS ONE. ITS BECAUSE WE LOVE YOU.
Im sitting on the exxon bathroom floor, idk if its healthy but it sure is cold
I dunno what he did but it both burns and feels amazing to pee
Sure. But we have to be quiet.
Ninja mode activated
2:23 am. Im just at McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, paying in nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
2:26 am. Im just being thrown out of McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, without my nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
Did you really get up in the middle of a tattoo to go get Taco Bell?
I'm coming right back.
I told him he was like my favorite pair of jeans; I may not wear them every day, but I'll never get rid of them and they make my ass look fantastic. Needless to say he was not thrilled.
Should I be concerned that the new guy I'm seeing just referred to my stealing a sailboat in college while drunk as "wholesome"?
Currently on my Sunday walk of shame. Should I go to church?
He told me that he's proud of our abnormalcy as a couple. I think it's the most romantic thing he's ever said.
I am rewearing my dress from last night. I only wore it for like two hours before fucking. And I took it off first so no cock contact. This is my new standard of cleanliness.
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