Let's hear it for middle of the street handjobs ladies and gentlemen
The woman at walgreens tried to sell me clearance condoms with my fake eyelashes. Does it look like I get laid?
he clicked a button a stirrups came down from the ceiling... if I don't come home by sunday, report me.
you were making out, puked over his shoulder and insisted everything was okay
remind me in the morning to get the random kid out of the closet and to clean the pudding off the wall
Just read my long term horoscope. I'm not gonna get laid for another 2 years.
You were Q-tipping mashed potatoes out of your ear.
Im not spending 10 to get hit on by potential transexuals even if they are cuter than most of the girls I dated.
Just threw up in the waiting room. I can't believe I have to switch dermatologists again.
No. Her boobs are the one spot of warmth in my life right now and I will not let you take them from me.
I'm naked and wearing a cowbell.i love med school.
How long after mardi gras is it considered okay to wake up topless and wearing beads?
New drinking game idea: Take a shot for every republican you see on facebook bitching about the ruling.
Tent sex on an air mattress requires balance and flexibility. Not for the faint of heart
Well, if you do die, I'll bedazzle your coffin.
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