Yea and his cousin visited from central and i fucked her i was texting him at work teasin him about it but sent it to his mom by accident
I think you missed the wrong class. Im pretty sure we were taught how to buy cocaine.
He passed out so we kept throwing water on him, he got excited and asked if we were at the wave pool.
His roommate just snorted a line of Smirnoff off the desk. I could really fit in here.
You know, there is no convenient place for your beer when you are on shrooms taking a shower.
I did nothing besides stay sober all night, I walked home to find max naked knocking cups off the counter with his cock lol
Quesedillas should not make me weep and drinking water should not make me feel like god is giving me mouth to mouth. Never again.
it's like I can see my whorish nature reflected back at me in his wedding ring.
You called my nipples compassionate. What does that even mean?
But I do cardio so I don't get winded during sex really it's not like I'm trying to lose weight
Turns out the creepy dude who bought us tequila shots was the friend of a friend who then got us a table and several large bottles of champagne.
Never judge a man by his mustache.
Of course I'm going to see her again. She had waterproof handcuffs in her shower.
Like people might wonder why I put up with your puns. You give good head and play with my hair
I can't come. It's so cold my uterine walls have frozen together like a cherry popsicle.
Ya’ll! My debit card got switched with my boss’ at lunch today (both Red Wells Fargo)....I realized it at whole foods AFTER I ran it for $100 at Vanity Room getting my vaj waxed 🤦🏻♀️🤦🏻♀️🤦🏻♀️. Most awkward IOU ever tomorrow.
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