My new storm is the chrons
The only reason I needed a new one is bc I threw up on my other one(248): And since Verizon doesn't have a throw up test, I was eligible for a new one
I'm not unpopping my collar. This shirt is too expensive to crease.
I can already tell this is gonna be one of those parties where we sit across the room and text about people.
yea ive hooked up with like half those guys
and i've hooked up with the other half...when our powers combine, we are captain slutbag
Don't say that out loud. People might think I really like to pee on you.
Of course you don't like it. I am the one who likes it.
when i first looked at you, you weren't wearing any pants. but then i realized you had them around your neck as a cape.
Trust me I was high for like 5 years...I got this
Luke did at least 8 shots of pure mayonnaise last night. I am not sure if that is better or worse than my 2 cement mixers?
I've never had goosebumps on my dick before. It was definitely not a bad feeling.
She said pants are for pussies while spooning peanut butter onto her frosted flakes with a serving spoon. She's not even high yet.
Just because the energy drink is shaped like a grenade doesnt make it cool to throw it and yell "BOOM" and break my flatscreen, asshole
Hoping to get a pic of me on the tractor with an erection for you one of these days.
I don't even care that it's before church. I feel like God actually wants me to have this shower beer.
Am I under any obligation to let my new fuck buddy know I slept with his little sister?
I'm still alive btw, in case you were worried about my well being.
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