What ever happened to making out with a few boob grabs here and there?
I kinda wish he had even a slight idea of the sex I'm planning for his departure. I'm literally studying for it.
So basically he tried to get out of the car and crawl on the highway with the broken leg because he didn't want to go to the hospital. It was not a good time...then we got pizza though.
We both paused during sex to do the clap during the Friends theme song. Soulmates.
It got messy; I did a shot of seamonkeys.
Nothing bad can happen when you have a kiwi flavored condom. Absolutely nothing.
THIS IS NO TIME FOR SHAME JOSH. JUST GOTTA GET IT IN. PURELY FOR LEVELING UP PURPOSES
I feel like you guys are talking about real things and have real problems and I'm just over here like 'should I take muscle relaxers or get drunk tonight?'
I just drove by a stop sign that had a used maxi pad stuck to it WHAT THE FUCK
When's the last time you had sex near some ducks?
Bro I just got a hand job playing tiny wings.. Hell yea
Atleast we had sex on the couch before your ex took it from you
Yeah, he fractured his ass by doing a canon ball into the bath tub....
I may or may not have just had sex in the bed of a pick-up at a drive-in movie theater.
Started dabbing in blow again because he always hated that I did it. Yuh I’m doing drugs but at least I’m doing me?
Randomize
