cab driver gave us mini bottles of jd for the ride home & proceeded to run every red light. wonder how many bottles he drank.
If it wasnt for meatballs I would have fucking killed myself already.
Going to have to start putting down newspaper if puking the bed is going to be a habit
Someone shattered a urinal.
We were just talking bout putting on helmets and going fo a car ride just to see how ppl react. I will def fit in here haha
You sir are most definitely in. Better get your penis an umbrella as that bad boy is gonna get soakkkkkkeddddd.
I need to stop drunkenly getting naked. I'm losing all my favorite party clothes.
You peed on someone's house because they had a Wisconsin flag.
According to him, i kept saying "I'm belligerent as SHIT" and tried to run around the house in just my bra and underwear. Thats when they decided to carry me to the car and take me home.
I'm ready to sell my soul to the strip club tonight
I had to sit there with his three fat aunts talking about a bunch of 50 Shades knockoff books.
I felt like a taxi, but my meter was running up minutes he would be eating me out that night.
I figured if he was OK cheating on his gf with a guy, he'd be OK with me posting his number to m4m Craigslist Ads
video games take priority over anything else you can offer me.
sexting just seems like too much work right now.
Wait you took his virginity AND broke his bed doing it
I know! I’m the best!
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