I was thinking about him in the shower then i get out of the shower and there was a text from him
its like he has a camera inside of my shower that looks into my brain
we saw you sitting at the door of the dorm trashed, wrapped in DANGER tape with a stolen balloon around your wrist
Just saw a girl in a wheelchair puke then rally. Diversity matters.
her parents were awake and in the next room. i think i deserve a big fucking medal for that orgasm.
In Berlin they just cured HIV with stem cells. I am hereby fucking anything that moves.
You ad-libbed two DETAILED rounds of price is right, 1 wheel of fortune, and 1 deal or no deal.... by yourself with sound effects and music included
But don't worry I didn't actually get stitches, although according to the health center I probably should have
TO ALL WHO WERE IN MY HOUSE LAST NIGHT: WHOEVER STOLE MY BONG AND PUT IT ON THE ROOF WILL BE PAYING MY HOSPITAL BILL FROM LAST NIGHT.. AND BUYING ME A NEW, SWEETER BONG.
Get in your clown car, pick up everyone you know, and head to the park. drunk Sledding grand prix tonight. winner takes home the leftover beer
When asked if they had been introduced, Damo said "No but I know we've pretty much fucked all the same girls in town"
With great liquor, comes great irresponsibility. Remind me of this night tomorrow.
I got with him in my watermelon costume so ya you owe me $1
Aint no party like a Broke College Girls Eating Stuffed Crust Pizza party
THERE IS A DOG IN THE CLUB. I repeat a dog in the club. I might have laid down and petted it..I have no shame.
The coke machine at work is laughing at me. Literally. I just heard laughter from the coke machine
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