All I want to do is go home, strip down to my pants, get in the shower and pee down my leg
Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
I guess there's a 50 percent chance that it was her that wet my bed.
I hid a 6pack in the microwave for later
I knew I liked you
I have a voicemail from Mike at 1am. He starts to say something, but then throws up instead.
Only you can can turn Jenga into a drinking and then a sex game.
Made it home ok. Only got hit by one car.
I'm too afraid that I'm 1. Banned or 2. Gonna be noticed by the lady bouncer I punched.
Also I walked home in over mitts \nLet's take a minute to really laugh about that
he got mad becuase i made more noise when he gave me a back massage then i do when we actually have sex
You came over, called every girl Comrade Heather, and then declared that you were an Eagle, and we were your young.
So all in all, a good night.
I was just like oh sorry I'm peeling meanwhile my legs are on either side of his head and I look like a fucking Komodo dragon
just like cleaning my room and being more organized in my life. more so just making sure a toaster doesn't end up in my car again for 2 months
in a meeting in my bathtub while predrinkin for tonight. technology.
Wanted to let you know I hooked up with your brother.
i thought he was gay wtf
Randomize
