sooo i think when i get back from rothbury i should probably take a pregnancy test
but you would be showing by now. i'd just save the money and wait for a large crap in 6 months that starts crying. then you'll know.
Just heard the garage door open and I immediately sprinted to the laptop to erase history, even though I haven't watched porn today...I believe Pavlov now.
i stopped calling them hangovers and started calling mornings a long time ago.
still drunk. talking shit to the doc drawing my blood. this has no upside
Just saw a dude hanging out a window upside down chugging a 60 of vodka. This weekend is big for everyone I guess
Meet me at the corner of "what the fuck" and"how'd you get in my bed" in 10 minutes.
I was wondering, is there any way to hook up a lawn hose to a keg?
I can't tell if I'm getting better at doing my online spanish hw drunk or if my teacher is just grading on creativity. Either way that senoritas gettin an applebees gift card when i graduate.
I don't think the TSA would be too happy. Who knows if three ounces of lube will be enough for us?
Sex and sushi don't even sound good right now... I might be on my death bed. To my Liz, I leave my extensive movie collection and my drinking supplies. To Olive I leave my car. Cause every Scottish terrier needs a 2010 Camaro.
I'd probably lick every tooth in Carly Rae Jepson's fucking mouth.
Teen Choice Awards are on if your wondering.
No biggie, just trying to keep my liver function in the green
New guy moved in the apartment next door. He's a combat vet, 6'4", Adonis body and going to med school. My vagina is chewing thru the wall as we speak.
i woke up in just my thong, face first on my bed with all the lights on. how hungover do you think i felt?
So...#1 on my TO DO list for college is to fuck someone somewhere in the stadium during the homecoming game...you down?
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