Is pulling weed out of a vagina a good thing or a bad thing?
I recorded his drunk dial calls. My personal favorite was the one that began, "grab the bull by the horns and fuck his cock."
I learned to sign I want to be on you today
Score
Deaf chicks here I come
I'm wearing the bright blue sombrero all through the airport as a sign of triumph that I survived spring break. I'm getting compliments
I walked downstairs and he was standing in nothing but his boxers with his dick hanging out warming up eggs in the microwave.
I'm in a hotel full of Marines. I'm leaving here pregnant.
And I was slip and sliding my life away on a giant tarp with tons of soap and bitches. Priorities man, priorities.
15 year-old stoners have those problems. we're college students dude. dont be like that...
Don't worry, I'm preparing for tonight by lining my purse with a garbage bag.
I literally just fucked insane clown pussy. 24 yo nut job moonlights at children's parties. Gave me head while still in full clown makeup from my kid's birthday party.
Two of my roommates are waxing their vaginas in the living room. Can I come smoke?
I'm at that point in my life where keeping an extra pair of underwear in my purse is normal.
He sent me a snap of him eating a tamale shirtless. I think I might be in love.
LOCK HIM DOWN.
Apparently I handcuffed myself to the dishwasher...
They picked up the lamp, held it aloft, and proclaimed apropos of nothing “this is going right up my ass”. LOUDLY
Randomize
