Hot guy, man whore rep, huge crush, alcohol that will fuck you up. I fail to see how this could go wrong
Would you let Jessica Biel poop in front of you to see her naked...but you have to wipe her too?
I just puked on my dog.I feel summer coming on
Yes. I am getting trashed on an open tab while judging a karoke competition
Impressive. I approve.
Yeah I'm at work. Nothing like the threat of blowing chunks on passing cars to make you feel alive.
He pulled a kid having a seizure out of a car and stayed with him until the ambulance came.
he what???
Not kidding. My ovaries cannot handle this shit...swear next time he'll rescue a bunch of pound puppies and hand them out to lonely orphans.
Having boobs is probably the greatest thing in the world, free booze all around
And he listens to me when I talk to him like the hulk.
Who knew that showing someone your boobs would make them stop crying.
I'm sitting in the shotgun seat of my car on full recline trying to pretend everything is ok
We were supposed fuck one time, but ended up fucking for 2 years.
I'm sorry you're hurting. Would a picture or my erect penis help?
First morning at school this semester and I threw up in a bush during my walk of shame.
i just has to use a gift card to Target that one of my students parents got me to buy Plan B bc my bank account is -$0.08 so my 2017 is starting exactly how i pictured.
We were high and the scary movies were scaring us too bad. Were all watching porn instead now
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