1. Mark my dj buddy and I spent $1000 on bottles last night
2. We were casually offered narcotics while walking down the street
3. I will still be awake when you start school tmw, cause there's no last call
So if any tells you miami is the same as the rest of america, there are just lying to you
dont try to nair your balls. i speak from experience
I just remembered yelling "they're gonna let me be a lawyer! Me! Why would they do that?"
the bathroom floor of the diner looks a lot different when you're not rolling around and puking on it.
They both just did a shot, head butted each other, did another shot and then slapped each other in the face. These could be the two guys we've been looking for all our lives
My phone now knows what I type and it prompts me with frequently used words. And anytime I use "and" and hit the space key two of the words are "unicorn" and "sausage"
she's traveling up the coast with her camera and a stash of pot cookies eating food from different campuses. said she slept in a closet 2 states away last nite... of course I'm interested
Then mom squeezed my boob and said, "Dad would go nuts if I had these..."
I'm a hopeless romantic that likes rough sex. Judge me
I'M WORRY THAT MY VAGINA WILL NEVER KNOW THE TOUCH OF A MAN AND YOU ARE MAKING A MIXTAPE
A picture of a damn cupcake brought back 3 fuckboys
Good, I don't think Coke dipped ring pops hold up in the mail anyway.
I brought an already opened bag of trail mix from home to snack on today. Some motherfucker ate all the m&ms out of it. I hate my roommates
I just puked in a chili’s bathroom... happy birthday to me
I'd kiss your neck and collarbone and then run my tongue up your neck to just behind your ear
And then lightly kick the curve inside your ear
Randomize
