i turned job hunting into a drinking game..
Christmas on farmville was waaaaay better than my actual Christmas.
shes trying to book us all flights to Ireland..I let her get mine and yours but stopped her when she tried booking the guy next to her at the library
After he was done he gave me a case of landshark and tickets to tomorrows yankee game. This is the best nonrelationship ever
He told me to put on my big boy pants, then take them off and fuck her before he smacks me with a chair. His pep talks suck.
I just caught myself watching and Irish step dance documentary in my underwear drinking nyquil through a straw at 2 in the afternoon. today's off to a good start.
All in all only spent $2 at the bar ln... Fucking love having a vagina
I'm in the middle no shirt white shorts humping the white dustbuster next to the guy shooting off the tazer infront of the two guys humping on the bicycle
the only two hours i was sober on this trip and i managed to break my toe. no one will believe this.
Going to the ER, I'll explain later but apparently drunk me isn't allergic to peanut butter.
The doctor basically called me a dirty dick.
Something tells me tonight will end with me wearing my pants on my head again.
final thoughts: i just want someone into choking me out, weed and anime
Woke up with an entire pizza face down in my bed beside me... untouched. Never beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
How you run into a glAss door three times in a row I do not know
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