You're completely useless in the revolution.
My grandpa is talking about laundry and he asked if i could run a "small hot load." Wow. I had to leave the room.
my three year anniversary of no dick sucking is coming up. you can throw me a party with a penis cake.
You screamed "show me a dick stand!" But before I could ask you wft that was you had passed out in the corner
He said it was fake. Like really? Hey baby, I wanna sleep with you, so here's a picture of a fake tiny dick
Pretty sure I'm about to get another tattoo. It'll have mom in there somewhere for Mother's Day.
it'll be like a game of Russian Roulette, but with my vagina.
RICK BROUGHT THE HOT BARTENDER HOME. SOMEONE CALL THE FIRE DEPARTMENT, CUZ RICKYS ON FIIIIIIIRE.
lmao nvm she punched him in the face and left
Too much dab too little lung dying šµšµšµ
I can't remember what I did last night, but judging from the state of my hair I had a pretty good time.
I think I fucked the doubts about us out of him
I am coming home with the worst sun burn of my life, two unused condoms, and an unworn slutty dress. Worst. Bachelorette. Party. Ever.
Wanna get drunk and play candy land? If so you are 2 steps behind.
Considering I drank for you last night, do you mind picking up your half of the hangover
Will exercising make me less horny?
Randomize
