That guy over there looks like a cartoon/action figure.
omg, i know.
we're too high.
Blackout barefoot maybe pregnant
Good decisions....
Just got blue box Mac and cheese things are looking up
I just had sex in the back of an ambulance. Call me.
Dude you need to stop whoring out my boobs. They are for emergencies only.
If i had 4 hands right now is have booze in 3 of them and my cock in the other all because you went to denver. just sayin.
My date just wheeled me home in a shopping cart but it was normal
Please don't place wagers on my sex life unless you are giving me a cut. With my current sluttiness I feel like I deserve 40% for how much money you'll make
somebody should make me the poster child for not drinking everclear..
He knows whenever I get drunk I'm going to call him and make fun of his major. Its like a reverse booty call.
I'm just sitting here drunk and eating peas because my life sucks
Family trip though. I generally don't wheel too much ass with the fam in tow. Despite the fact my parents would be pleased if I did.
Wait, but now I'm curious. In what position were y'all when the cops came? Were you guys butt ass naked in the car? 😂😂
Can't. Way too high. Forgot how to operate doors. Stuck outside.Come get me.
I just shook glitter of my birth control packet so I’d say it’s safe to say it was a good weekend
The abomination is in progress. At least one barista side eyed me and the other has fear in her eyes
Randomize
