we are at a mexican restaurant and the tv is playing mexican porn. dad won't stop watching.
I found the seven page love letter I had written you. I'm sorry i was so obsessed.
I called Tyra Banks a whore to her face. A sure sign I should go home. Instead I went to the gay bar.
Last night, you attempted to motor boat my vagina then proceeded to blow raspberries on it. Don't ever do that again.
Now I'll never know if Megan finds a millionaire.
I could give you a full detailed description of 75% of the penises in that room
Admitting I go to nursing school is my subtle way of saying, yes, I know every muscle in your penis and how to effectively use them.
Should I have a moral quandary about Skyping topless with him while his son slept in the other room?
It wasn't so much skinny dipping. It more like skinny walking...through a fountain.
Thank you contacting dial-a-boner. Currently, our boner is on a run to service another client. You can either wait 2 hours for service, or share concurrent service with the current client.
I shit myself when I came, don't have flu sex
So how do you explain to your boss that Siri called him mid sex?
I may not have my dignity, pride or sanity but I have my pants.
I thought the dude was just really enjoying his piss but apparently he was jerkin off into the urinal.
When you wanted to give that guy at McDonalds your number you asked the cashier if you could borrow "a pen or just like a straw with his blood on it". He gave you a pen.
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