Todays lesson: Chew your food better when your drunk. I almost choked throwing up this morning.
Just went to my life planning class. The professor has a braid going halfway down his back and an earring.
Turned in a paper today on drug abuse. Chose to write about percocet. Just realized I started 2 sentences with "This amazing drug"
Eating doritas dunked in queso con salas. Salllas. Salska. Salsa. Got it. Shhiitt. Salsa con queso. That's better. I'm hot pink socks.
I hope he's okay, but I also hope he shows up with an eyepatch
So many bounce houses so little time
I keep replaying commercials about kittens frolicking and was crying nonstop. WILL MY PERIOD LAST FOREVER!?
Oh god I may vomit into the teacup of debauchery.
Oh if I trust ANYTHING about you it's your ability to lead a douchebag around by the dick
We can see it once so I can see the whole movie, then I'll go see it with him so I know when the boring parts are and I can have sex with him during those parts
Why is there a video on my phone of us trying to snort a line of Reeces Pieces with you chanting "This is how fat girls party"?
The weed is temporarily burning the grammar section of my brain library.
Finally hooked up with her. She bought me tacos after because "she can do better in a bed". You're gonna be my best man.
It's okay, big boobs are better than running.
I'll explain later but I just had to legally commit to abstinence for the next 4 months
Randomize
