he's my edward cullen
I am pretty sure Edward Cullen never had an all-day drinking binge topped off with some blow.
I bet Jafar would keep his hat on during
I had to remind him that there is no "age exchange rate" between the u.s. and spain, and that 16 will always equal 16
hot doctor. gonna get him to touch my tits. 'think i felt a lump' excuse in 3-2-1...
It's a bathroom floor kind of morning.
She had sex in a public bathroom and slept on a couch in the dorm lobby. It's only Monday
You called my nipples compassionate. What does that even mean?
Showing up to Easter hungover, late, and covered in black an blues from pole dancing. Daughter of the year.
Once I hang curtains in my truck bed that'll be feasible
I just ate beer and cupcakes for breakfast.... maybe this fourth of july won't be so bad
You have 4 bottles of kahlua in ur drawers but no sox
With a butt like mine I'll never have to pay for Netflix again.
Well, I can now cross "dirty drunk homeless hobo" off of my bucket list of people who have been successful wingmen for me. North Carolina is getting weird.
Your boyfriend being in jail is really helping my social life! #GotASingleDrinkingBuddyAgain
He screamed, "Let there be light!" when he came
Randomize
