she left her pants. im pretty sure she grabbed mine on accident. im like 9 man sizes bigger than her. wtf
I have to decide between the hot young blond with no apparent gag reflex, and the brunette with a great ass and a trust fund.
I woke up to a bunch of college seniors jacking off a horse in my face. Geuss who didnt move in time?
I just realized last night I drunk-bought a flight to Florida for this weekend...kinda torn between the price and the potential of awesomeness
You pulled the fire alarm because you had to shit and there was someone in the bathroom. you said you needed privacy
i just spent 10 minutes talking to the lady who works at taco bell about my romantic situation.
In the memo line of the check she wrote sexual healing.
Smoked a Vape in the library status: completed
idk, it started getting weird when they were looking up videos of lesbian giraffes
This is going to ruin my future wedding planner career, but isn't it better the groom knows he's gay BEFORE he gets married?
I just got into the cab. It smells like weed and the driver looks like someone who may or may not be really talented at playing the saxophone. He also asked me my thoughts on porn when I told him I'm an actor. I might not make it home.
Well it's official, last night I hooked up with the third girl from the apartment downstairs.
Dude that's a hat trick!
I know, I tossed my hat on the floor as I was walking out.
I left at 4:30 in the morning and I told him it was because I had to take my contacts out
You said the best orgasm you ever had, you gave to yourself. your boyfriend looked really disappointed. so did half the room.
I'm basically doing the Walk of Shame without the added bonus of having sex last night. That doesn't look good on anyone.
Randomize