best googles of the semester: toe fucking, purpose of two nostrils, human tail. with pictures
Yo, if someone calls you asking for John Stamos, just go with it.
You were sad because he was "taking it out on the plant"
The woman at the bus stop told me i smell delicious and asked if i wear cotton then proceeded to tell me about her shellfish allergy
What's the policy for hitting on a girl at a funeral? She seems more bored than sad.
Legitimate logistical question....how did you pee in your duct tape dress?
I would ask what did you do but I feel like who did you do is probably more appropriate
This late night dumpster diving sesh is making my quads cramp up
My girl came home. i was jacking off on the couch and she just starts telling me about her day, as if im not half naked with my hand on my cock.
He's getting Easter eggs filled with weed or Jell-O shots for his birthday
What's goes good with Everclear?
Pepto-Bismol and a sandwich.
So after the absinthe shots_____(fill in the blank area for me please)......
just so you know. the medical term for period cramps is mettelschmerz.
glad to know something that causes such misery in my life has such a laughable name.
If you fuck her..... You will be in great danger. Like in so much danger it would be like walking into a pit of crocodiles who haven't eaten and you also just stole their baby.
I wish he’d realize all I want is dick. He’s my boytoy. He’s a stunt cock. \n\nCome over, fuck me silly, eat some leftovers, fuck me again, then go back to the frat house
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