I have nothing to say, just wanted ur phone to vibrate
why is it that everyone in pennsylvannia gets fucking prego??
CONQUERED: Sean from next door. Just wanted to let you know ;)
How many people did you send this to?
I've had a Margarita with salt, but I have to say I was impressed by the Stoli and Sprite rimmed with adderall
Is it weird that I want your dad to go down on me?
Idk how hard you fucked her, but you managed to leave permanent ass prints on my tempurpedic mattress.
It's like split custody, only he's not a kid and they have sex with him.
He deleted all his profile pics with her. It was like the bat signal for single women everywhere.
dreams really do come true on the roof and drinking again
You came over, called every girl Comrade Heather, and then declared that you were an Eagle, and we were your young.
So all in all, a good night.
There will always be a place in my black heart for him because he gave me my first sex-induced orgasm. While you slept on the bunk above.
I left the office with a vacuum, 2 condoms and 300 dollars cash money. Tell me I don't have the most versatile job on the planet.
A guy who takes a plate of chicken tenders away from us is not to be trusted or slept with
I don't know. Seeing the vagina stretched out beyond normal proportions is like watching your favorite superhero die.
If I take a couple more shots I won't even know he's a Mormon that drives a motorcycle
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