I fucked **** last night, don't tell mike
this is mike. we're done.
wow, farting in latex pants is really awkward.
My mom found a condom in my purse
Correction: my mom found a used condom in my purse.
why is there a picture of someone wearing Tevas with socks taped on the wall?
Her bacne/racne was so bad it was like having sex with bubble wrap.
then I woke up and felt a boner that wasn't even mine. never taking 3am vodka again
Dude he fell into my wall and left an imprint then decided to have sex with the door open. Vents carry noise pretty well
I know. It's cray. Crayon. Crayolaaaaa.
I'm gonna let my dick speak for itself from now on. Seriously, it's always recruiting for me even after 6 hours of drinking.
Ok everyone, the frat server is slow because of the 11 TB of porn on there. Either clean out your partition by Sunday or it will be erased. Thanks for your help.
Fucking someone because they own a lava lamp is like fucking someone because they have 20 dollars and no concern for their house burning down.
All I have done at work today is eat and try to get my coworker to tie me to his bed again
Did I tell you I bit someone's arm for you last night
Jesus tap dancing Christ rock out with your cock out is supposed to be just an expression. And even if it weren't no one wants pics bro.
Is she talking about a testicle cuff or just a cock ring? How did you meet this girl?
Is there a big difference?
It’s about the same as the difference between a night of drunken sex with a stripper at the Bellagio and being robbed and left for dead by a crystal meth tweaker
Randomize
