That's intense
why is it that no matter what your novelty license plate says it always screams "im a huge tool"?
like literally i think i'm sweating out semen right now
My mom just told me to drench my entire body in vodka for 20 minutes. I have never been this russian. no one has ever been this russian
I couldn't accept the bj. My penis has done nothing wrong and didn't deserve the punishment of her face.
I think i morst likely have 95 %patulas for hands and probably i also went to eGypt with so manyfriends. We laids in the sarcaphoguses.
You sound pretty unsure about all of this.
So the bartender from Applebees totally looks like he would take his clothes off for $40
I like how you possess the gift that turns normal guys into strippers
and I think you ate the old crusty spaghetti on the counter when we came home last night judging by the carnage
Um...It has come to my attention that I may have said some rather vulgar things about Sean Connery to you and anyone listening last night, so...I apologize for that. I meant the things I said. But still. Sorry.
I'm sure he'll make the rejection quick and completely justified.
But I mean how many guys can say they get blow jobs and grilled cheese with football
drunk me cartwheeled over a turtle sandbox & slit my foot open on a cinder block. how do you explain that to a doctor?
I pour the whiskey from now on
I think it's important to not involve Bar Food in any near future decisions.
I was so drunk, he put me to bed and went down stairs to hang out with his friends. Apparently, I was curled up in the closet, spooning the dresser when he came back up.
Randomize
