as evidence of my kitchen this morning my night involved alot of mustard and condoms
the best part about being a teacher is there are always 20 little kids around me to blame my farts on
So...i'm having a drinking contest, my right hand vs my left, i have a feeling the 24 pack is gonna win
I don't remember much but I know I looked hot.
Dude I could put my dick between the gap in her teeth.. This is the last time we are hanging out with Kentucky girls
We should have cut you off when you asked the can driver if you could ride in the trunk.
i'm forwarding you the dirty picture of that fat girl that likes me sent . i feel like since youre my best friend you should puke in your mouth too .
She didn't talk for 45 minutes. We finally convinced her to open her mouth. There was a flower in there.
those kids just got delivered to the party by the pizza guy
There is a BIG difference between doing coke and getting peed on and getting peed on FOR coke
I need a costume
Dude just wear a bra or something hahaha
she's fucked both of my roommates but not me. i feel like I'm not part of the group anymore
I had sex with a mask on because I have the flu and I didn't want to get him sick.
I just fell and sprained my ankle in the shower. No, I wasn't having sex. I was doing the time warp. Again.
hi, I love you... and I'm sorry your floor is covered in popcorn, your cabinet is broken, all your alcohol is gone, you're 80 dollars poorer, everything in your bedside table is soaked in beer, austin slept in your bed in those disgusting underwear, I made out with your toilet seat, and for talking to your mom with a four loko in my hand
Randomize
