Prostitute standing on the corner thrusting at cars as they drive by. New marketing strategy?
and im sitting here waiting for them to work on my car. in a room full of men. that are too old for me. its like a sausage fest nightmare...
she was so "full of love" from watching twilight that she came over and gave me a handjob. when does the next movie come out?
It was worth having to clean the cum stains out of the carpet.
Im holding a competition......who saw me last, and who knows how my nose got bruised? you earn points for answering either question. and for bringing me water.
Pretty sure I saw a dude across the room give this girl the international hand gesture for "I'm going to fist you later", she seemed ok with it.
I will now attempt to shave my public hair into a Christmas tree.
I seriously just found a rose petal in my vagina.
The fact that both my ribs are severely bruised from shoving flasks in my bra might be a validation of my mothers alcoholic accusation
He won't ever take me seriously if I keep getting drunk and hooking up with all his friends.
Oh my god what did I do. My hands are scraped, there are pickles on the floor, my clothes are wet, and I don't remember how I get here. Thank you.
Need. Hospital. Physically am floating.
If it involves mee putting on a bra and discontinuing my 11 am drinking my answer is a polite fuck YOU
If my sophomore year were to be made into a novel, it would be titled "dances with salvia"
I'm gonna keep a minimum of five drink promise to myself
You mean maximum 5?
Randomize
