If I were a hot girl. I'd whore around, I'd be awesome.
I look like a herd of wild horses chewed on my back. If you bite me again while taking me from behind, I'm going to have to cut you off.
I'll be accepting presents in the forms of drinks, drugs, and orgasms. So any or all of those will be fine.
We're on a cock hunt. Everything is fair game.
Blacked in riding a tandem bicycle with a stranger. We stopped for hot dogs.
I sexy timed too hard and there is an ass shaped piece of a ping pong table now missing bc of it. How am I allowed to leave the house without a helmet?
Also was told that I was her "third favourite booty call" - I'm taking this a good thing right?
It's a podium place so yeah...
Can I also remind you that we insisted on touching his mustache?
Well of course I remember it took up like 20 minutes of my night.
Drinking and pointing where stuff needs to go is hard stuff.
I'm not gonna lie. The thing I miss the most about him right now is the air conditioned hotel rooms.
Not sure what happened last night, but I woke up without a shirt on and cereal glued to my boobs...
I stole an accordion from the bar
Accidentally
I'm having ragrets about stealing the accordion
I suggest both. Please have sex with them and prepare notes for a final comparison.
i was really depressed when i left the health dept this morning after i had to write a higher number next to "partners" than "age"
Drunk me just want to text sober me for saving that half rack of ribs I loves you
Randomize
