We got so high yesterday we tried watching soccer
Every time my boyfriend threatens to commit suicide I change my relationship status as "widowed".
Signed everyone in my dorm up for free samples of astroglyde. Took me an hour. Happy new years!!!!!
I love online classes. Spent the last part of my lecture taking apart a teabag and filling it with weed.
come on don't hate me. your brother looks just like you its almost a complement that i had sex with him.
I really shouldn't have to apologize. It was your own damn fault for opening a tab at the bar and telling me about it.
I think I just tested my sobriety limits for unicycling.
You did a line of free coke with an obese Slovenian unlicensed cab driver in the toilets of the most questionable strip club in the country. New low man.
When you put it like that, I'm inclined to agree.
just walked into the study room and found an empty bottle of vodka and a passed out freshman. Did you have anything to do with this?
What would you say is a healthy ratio of sex vs. being called a fucking asshole in a relationship?
I was figuring I'd break up with her after work, but before Taco Tuesday
If he can't cook well I'm just gonna buy a RealDoll and twenty cats and live my own fucking life
he never texted me back from last night. i think brining out the suction cup dildo was a mistake
Drunk me really does appreciate that sober me made a list of movies to watch when drunk it saves so much time
I'm reading the Hobbit in my blanket fort alone with a bottle of wine... all I need is dungeons and dragons to complete this superfecta of awesome
Randomize
