I think I'm going to be in trouble for sneaking out last night. My Dad saw me drive up this morning when he was leaving early for work.
What'd you say?
I told him I was sleep driving
she said i was amazing, then i left to room to take the rubber off and came back to find her masturbating with my xbox controller while niko got a call from roman.
Practice the "sorry I may have given you herpes" conversation with me before I call him and break the news
How am I a tease?
Dude you flashed me ur vagina and walked away.
ONLY PART OF IT.
u got into a flexing contest with a dude in bathroom in the mirror at the club
My clit ring got caught in his beard. Never. Again.
With your fertility you would just get contact pregnant
I know you're on vacation but you should know I just walk of shamed through a hotel lobby while leaving a threesome on Friday the 13th. Fuck superstition, I win.
He called me on my way to the bathroom and told me he wanted to hear me pee my beers out... That. Drunk.
He put his hand in my cleavage. NOT ON. IN. BETWEEN. NO more gingers
Its like a match made in avoid-eachother-because-we're-antisocial-and-awkward heaven
So I totally just used margarita salt for a body scrub.
its weird getting into a political debate with a pony dressed as an anime character online
Is it bad when I wake up sore & don't know if my injuries are from sex or the mechanical bull at the bar?
he's like the highest ranking tongue wizard i know.
Randomize
