Seeya bye Latvian government! Whammy!
it doesn't get any better than taco bell and soft core porn
hanging on that rope, lady gaga looks exactly like a used tampon
all i know is that if they can hide that much blood in her outfit, they definitely could have hid a penis
He looks like the kind of guy that still collects pokemon cards
Any little, cute, petite blondes with you?
Nah, I got some slutty brunettes though.
Apparently I was the fucked up drunk guy greeting people at the hotel in the lobby last night.
Give him a trash can and a welcome home balloon, he will be good.
He simply fell in the fire, rolled out and continued to finish his bottle of vodka. Everyone else instantly sobered up just watching it.
By early evening I was shouting at the deeply Christian girl to suck my dick inbetween snorting lines of gatorade powder.
Ran into his sister at the gym and hit it in the parking lot. I dont even feel like a bad friend she got a boob job and lost 20 lbs its not even the same sister
if a girl cums in a dorm room and no one hears it did it really happen?
Was it you I was with where I saw a guy open a beer with his butt?
But I did discover that he's totally okay with going down on me while I eat taco bell so that's a plus, right?
My Tinder date from last night is my Uber driver for tonight's Tinder date...neither of us said a word.
He left stubble rash on my thighs and cooked me bacon before 9am. I need to lock this down STAT
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