I would do horrible things to your vagina.
Prove it.
now I regret adding my aunt on facebook. she remnded me today on my wall about the importance of checking my stools for blood since I have diaherria.
I've been deciding between brands of bagels for 20 minutes. This why I doint smoke weed.
My corndog is like a popsicle of bread. A WHOLE. POPSICLE. OF BREAD.
the taxi driver actually pulled over to let us moon a house full of people
just woke up to a get well card i wrote myself when i was drunk. it was by the advil. i am a cocky bitch.
I literally just wrote "I'm sorry" in my blue book, got up and walked out
I can feel my ovaries exploding thinking about them.
I knew things were bad when I walked in on you feeding juice to your iPhone
I just told the toilet I loved it. Bad sign.
I fell into his fridge. I want to leave.
I GOOGLED IT. BEES CAN MASTURBATE. WHAT.
I didn't want to but I was drunk in a Disney bathroom with her and had a weak moment.
Please don't throw the wedding bouquet at me
The man built me a fort. Of course he got laid.
Randomize
