I'm still with the girl from last night. remember to call me conrad and that i work for PETA
she is medically diagnosed as a nympho. she has the paper to prove it. hell. fucking. yeah.
I can't get a boner in the bathroom of a buffet.
You went from loaded cattleman, to football player, to better football player, to art major from Missouri. Your future was looking so good for a while.
he picked an earring up off the bar floor and tried to give it to girls as a present.
I assume some self respect is too lofty of a gift idea
I know you are gonna wanna ask a lot of questions but when we are home I need to cover your face with deli meat and photograph it
The last time I've felt a woman's touch, the twin towers were compromised. You can wait like one week
You don't understand. On her lunch break she sits on the roof, stares into the sky, and chain smokes. I can't get on her level. She is made up of java monsters with whiskey and a voice that sounds like sex.
You need to stop crushing on your boss or fuck her.
Then when he got home he face timed me and showed me his balls
Watching Supernatural does more for me sexually than the physical encounters with 90% of the men in my life.
I AM NOT LOSING TO SOME FICTIONAL CROSSDRESSER
I love that they love me even though I might not exsist, its kinda like Im God.
That's good. So do you know why there is a giant pile of old tires in the laundry room and kitchen?
Well we knew you needed some tires, found someone on the way home who was giving them away and took them all. Has to be 4 in there you can use.
Fucked a DJ on a jetski today... I love florriidaaa!
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